best week of all time

consider yourselves lucky, everyone. because you get to witness a blog about how this last week and weekend were one of the best i've ever had! yes, EVER! there are many reasons for this. 1. i was acting- and i'm confident with my performance, 2. i got to act and spend time with my sister for a day, 3. i got to dress up as marilyn monroe for a halloween social and got to hang out with my two best friends (janelle and matthew), 4. i got to hang out with my winnipeg friends and have a halloween party with them (and dress up as marilyn monroe again!), 5. the cast and crew on set were absolutely amazing! these are just a few reasons why this was the best week/weekend ever. i've never felt so sure about my acting career.
i've also never had such an exhausting week either. it's strange because now that filming is over (*shed a tear*), i've been able to get so much sleep (9-10 hours last night and the night before!)- and i feel more exhausted than i did when i would get 3-5 hours of sleep per night. weird. so, here's how filming ended up going (hours-wise): tuesday from 6pm-midnight, wednesday from 6pm-11:30pm, thursday from 2pm-7pm, saturday from 8:30am-6:30pm, and sunday from 8:30-7pm. crazy long nights and days. crazy short sleeps too! but, there is nothing i would've rather done.
it was incredible people. i can't stop talking about it or thinking about it. and you'd think that i would be really physically tired (or sick) by now, but i'm definitely more emotionally exhausted. believe me, you put EVERYTHING you have into each take. it's incredibly draining. and incredibly exhilarating at the same time. there's no experience like it. not for me, at least.
when i'm in australia, i'm going to miss this like crazy. i think i might just go insane. but, i know that i'm going to be there focussing on God. and when i can do that, i know that i'll be able to come home and really be a christian actress. not acting in christian movies- i keep telling people. but being a christian, and after that comes being an actress. i want to make wise decisions about roles i play, relationships that develop, things i say, and that sort of thing. just being a christian on set. that is the most important thing to me. and one of the most difficult things too.
well, that was my week! i didn't do a good job at explaining why it was so great, but believe me, it was one of the best weeks i've ever experienced. lovin' it!

the plot

So, I said that once I get the chance, maybe I'd explain what this film is about. Remember? The one that I'm in? Right, that one. Here goes my explanation:

There's this girl, early twenties (played by moi). Her name is Chuck (short for Charlene). She's a pretty normal girl- works at an office job. Has a steady boyfriend of 3 years (his name is Lou)- they live together. So, one day she's getting ready to go to work and when she's about to put her shoes on, she suddenly forgets how to tie them. Then she's at work and forgets how to turn on a certain program on the computer that she'd normally turn on every day. Throughout the next couple of days, she is starting to forget very elementary things. Things she's done routinely or regularly for a long time. Then one day she forgets who her boyfriend is- he comes home from work and she has no idea who this guy is that's in her house. She freaks out on him and is scared for her life (because she has no idea what this guy is doing in her house). After this, she forgets how to drive her car. She has no idea what is going on or why she's forgetting things, when others around her tell her that she should know these things. She just has no recollection of certain parts of her life. She goes to a library to look up memory loss. She finds a book that explains a theory that states that when someone around the world learns something new, a different person forgets that very same piece of information. Like there is only so much allotted knowledge available to humans. She went to find the author of the book- who had gone through the same thing as her, as she found out. He didn't know who he was anymore. His nurse told Chuck to find help before she turned out like him. She leaves his house and while she is walking she is mugged. This man (played by Nick Friesen- the director) takes her wallet and learns her name and where she lives. When she wakes up after being unconscious (he knocked her out)- she has no idea who she is. She only discovers this when a girl (played by my sis- Beth) introduces herself to Chuck and Chuck has no idea how to reply because she doesn't know who she is. The film ends there. It's a short film- so there's usually no conclusion. You sort of make up your own ending.

So, there you have it. The plot of "Chuck Forgets" (film title). Sound interesting? Nick is hoping to enter it in NSI (National Screen Institute)- a film festival. Maybe it'll get in and maybe it'll be noticed? Who knows! Here's hoping. Still have two very full days of filming left. Early Saturday and Sunday mornings. I can't wait! It's such a blast. I love it. I live for this!

what-about wednesdays

On this day in history- October 25th

...Johann Strauss was born (1825)
...Pablo Picasso was born (1881)
...Julia Roberts was born (1967)
...Postcards were first used in USA (1870)
...First electronic watch placed on sale (NYC- 1960)
...The Beatles begin their first full foreign tour (Sweden- 1963)
...Roy Disney dedicates Walt Disney World (1971)
...The first Youth for Christ rally is held at Bryant's Alliance Tabernacle in NYC (1941)

filming 101

so, last night i filmed my butt off. it was the first filming day of this process. my dear sister, beth, was also acting alongside me. it was a great experience for her. it's her first acting experience in an independent film. she's used to filming school movies, or just fun little movies with friends. this was definitely different for her, in a great way.

however, her part is already wrapped (meaning, she's done filming for this movie)- she played a minor character alongside my character. and she did great. the crew filmed from 6pm til midnight. a long evening, but so worth it. we filmed in the cold the whole time. filmed one scene which took a few hours (brr!), went back to the director's (Nick Friesen) house to warm up (hot chocolate!) and prepare for the next scene, then went back out into the cold to film the next scene which took another couple hours.

do you want to know how the filming process works? well, first of all the director and producer have to organize the shoot. this includes working around actor's schedules, organizing which scenes to do and when, figuring out wardrobe and what days certain wardrobe is needed, and so so much more... i have no idea just how much more work is put into that. so, once everything is organized and it's time to film it, this is the next process: wide shots (shows all primary characters in a scene- not a close-up)- do a few runs of the wide shot til the director is satisfied with what he's getting. next is medium shot (from waist up on primary characters- a little closer than a wide shot)- do a few runs of the medium shot til the director is content. next is close-ups, run those a few times. then there is extreme close-ups (not always) and run those again a few times. so, if you do all these shots for each scene it takes quite a while! and if you have a few parts in each scene (or a few characters) it takes even longer. but the more times you do it, the more into the character you get. so, usually the best shots are the middle-last shots. it takes a while to get into it. but once you do, LOOK OUT! it's such a rush.

so, last night we shot two scenes. the first one (which is the second last scene in the film) was with my character and the director's character (he played a minor role- but had a major impact on my character). we have good on-screen chemistry. we've done scenes together before- and i love acting with him. i love being directed by him! he's amazing. so, we had a scene together and he had to beat me up by the end of it. of course, it's all fake, but it worked really really well! my legs are a little sore today from the cold and from the fake fighting. but other than that, it's great! and the next scene i did (which is with bethany- it's the last scene in the film) was on a swingset. beth did great, she was a bubbly teenager who was kinda lonely. and my character had just gotten mugged- didn't really care to hear about her story. my character was near tears by the end of the scene- which i was happy with because i was worried that i wouldn't be convincing. but i was very satisfied with how i did. of course, it took a while to get into the groove of the character, but once i was in, i was in! the crew is just so encouraging too. they affirm me every shot, which makes me feel better about how i'm doing. and they crew is amazing at what they do. they were quite amazed with the fact that beth hadn't taken any acting lessons. i think they really like the mcmahon girls!

anways, this post is quite long enough! i'll keep everyone posted on how filming continues to go. and maybe eventually when i've got more time, i'll fill you in on what the film is about! over and out!

this busy week

wow. this week is one crazy week for me! i'm filming an independent film in winnipeg with some u of w students/grads. here's what this week looks like for moi:

tuesday: 8:45am-5:15pm = working at NHG, 6:00pm-? = filming in winnipeg
wednesday: 8:45am-5:15pm = working at NHG, 6:00pm-? = filming in winnipeg
thursday: 8:45am-1:00pm = working at NHG, 2:30pm-? = filming in winnipeg
friday: 8:45am-5:15pm = working at NHG, 8:00pm-1am = janelle's sister's wedding halloween social
saturday: 8:30am-all day = filming in winnipeg, 8:00pm-late = halloween party with friends
sunday: 8:30am-all day = filming in winnipeg, after= filming with friends

after this week, maybe i'll be able to relax? maybe... we shall see what next week holds!

what is so wrong with just being ME?

ok, ok. i know. i'm weird. maybe some people just don't understand weirdness. i'll tell you what i think- i don't understand what's so wrong with being weird!

sorry, i went off on a little rant there. back to the topic at hand. people are hard to please. let's face it. i mean, honestly, i don't think that I'M hard to please. but, society in general... is DEFINITELY hard to please. someone PLEASE tell me WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING ME? why oh why do people struggle so much with wanting to be someone else. or being jealous of others because of that person's body, or financial situation, or boyfriend/girlfriend, or home life, and on and on and on and on.

we are so obsessed with being someone else that we've forgotten who we are! WHAT?????? how could someone forget who they are? um, easy. we keep trying to be someone we're not. i'll be honest here. i want to be an actress one day. well, i am an actress already- working on plays and films. but, seriously, i think that there are TONS of amazing actors/actresses out there who aren't trying to act as a career. they're acting to survive! acting like someone else. someone more popular. someone who all the guys/girls like. someone who gets more attention. someone who will make them feel more important. someone who will make them forget about the lonely, self-conscious, sad, unimportant person that they are.

let me tell you this- IT'S ALL BULLSHIT! i don't swear very often, but i feel i must in this case. please don't take offence. you are important! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! the person you pretend to be is NOT important. YOU are the one with the beautiful heart that has been hurt many many times over and over. stop believing the lie that you are not important, or beautiful, or loved, or likeable. AND START BELIEVING THE TRUTH THAT GOD HAS CREATED YOU A PECULIAR TREASURE WHO IS CHERISHED AND LOVED AND IMPORTANT AND UNIQUE!

peculiar (def.)- particular: unique or specific to a person or thing

- markedly different from the usual

- characteristic of one only: distinctive or special

i, for one, would WAY rather be peculiar than be the usual. wouldn't you?

what-about wednesdays

-"the raccoons"-

i must admit that this show was one of my favourite shows back in the day. back in the day when i played and played all day long- not a worry in the world. back in the day when stripes and polka dots were considered a perfect match. back in the day when i believed that ninja turtles lived in the sewers. back in the day... back in the day. those were good days. i miss those days. i miss "the raccoons". i miss being a kid. but i love that those "back in the day" moments have brought me to where i am today, and maybe... just maybe some of those moments have helped me become who i am now? well, maybe not the ninja turtles. but definitely "the raccoons".

"run with us"- "the raccoons" themesong:

when darkness falls, leaving shadows in the night,

don't be afraid, wipe that fear from your eyes.

if a desperate love keeps on driving you wrong,

don't be afraid, you're not alone . . .

[chorus:]

you can run with us! we've got everything you need . . .

run with us! we are free!

come with us! i see passion in your eyes . . .

run with us!

when the cold wind blows, turn your collar to the cold.

don't be ashamed, if you need someone to hold.

if you're sinking in quicksand, and it's dragging you down,

and you feel you're going under, we'll be around!

[chorus]

when you're behind closed doors, all alone, by yourself,

and you're longing inside to be somebody else;

you pick up the telephone, and there's no one on the line.

don't be afraid; 'cause there's still time

Some days you just have to

breathe.

i can safely say that i am probably one of the worst people for being busy ALL THE TIME. it's not always a bad thing, because i get to be with a lot of my friends and family. i like seeing people. i like knowing how they're doing. i like telling them how i'm doing (most of the time). but sometimes i forget that it's ok just to be alone.

no thinking. no talking. just breathing.

i like to keep busy. it makes me feel important. it makes me feel like i don't have time to think about what's going on in my life. and usually i like to be busy. i like pleasing people, not always for the right reasons, but i like to please them nonetheless. it's so hard for me to say "no" to people when they ask for a favour. not that i'll blame my busy-ness on others, i'll just blame it on my people-pleasing problem. hmm.

obviously, being busy isn't always good. being too busy can make me sick. it can make me avoid what's going on in my head or heart. it can make me go crazy. it can make me feel drained.

i don't like feeling drained. i like being excited about life and ready for whatever gets thrown at me. but when i'm drained, there's no energy to care. and i like to care. not caring to the extent of obsessing on how to keep people pleased with me. just caring. plain old caring.

well, i guess i don't have much of a point to this topic. just ranting. maybe just trying to encourage others that it's ok not to always feel like you need to give of yourself. maybe that sounded selfish. and i don't mean to sound selfish. but, to be honest, sometimes we just need to take time for ourselves. just to take a breather. just to rest. just to be. if we cannot take time just to be alone, we won't be able to give of ourselves because we'll have nothing left to give. take time to rest. you'll enjoy life more if it's at a slower pace.

i forgot to mention this...

there's another new blogger on the block. her name's stephanie. and she is a charlatan. and she gave me CRAP for not mentioning her new blog in my last post. SORRY steph. you do mean a lot to me. even if we're not blood related, you're still my sister.

soooooooo.... after saying all that, here's her link:
http://likethenight.blogspot.com/

like it, love it, can't get enough of it.

Blogging Buddies

Hey y'all

We've got a couple new bloggers in town. Eric (my brother... who is not so "in town"... in fact, he's in Thailand) has a blogspot. It goes like this: http://ericmcmahon.blogspot.com/

My sister, who is a-livin' at home with moi and our parents also joined the blogging fun. Here's her blog link: http://bethanyjade.blogspot.com/

Check out what's going on in their lives. And leave a comment or two...

By the way, it's snowing out in cheery Niverville. Feeling a little Christmas-y? I guess we'll just have to deal. Hmpf.

party on dudes

woo!

today is my friday! "but, it's thursday," you say... uh, yeah, i can read a calendar. but, i'm not working tomorrow! therefore, today = friday (for me). sleepover with my best friend tonight! party on dudes, see you on the flip side.

the healing begins

today is a new day. and i'm feeling better altogether. not great, but better. if anyone who reads my blog doesn't know this, my boyfriend and i broke up this past weekend. it's been a rough few days. but God is faithful. and as my dear friend ruth always says: "God's grace is sufficient." it is sufficient. joel is an amazing guy, which makes the break-up hurt even more. his heart is so sincere and beautiful. i will forever cherish our time together (practically 2 years... wow), and he will always be special to me. and now it's God's time in my life and joel's. it's God's turn to hold us in his arms and begin the healing process. i'm believing for complete healing. it may be a tough journey, but i know it is possible. some people say that once you give your heart to someone, a little piece of you is gone forever. i don't think that's true. God will heal me completely and my heart will again be renewed and pieced together little by little. one day, it will be whole again. nothing missing. but please keep my in your prayers, and especially keep joel in your prayers. he is one special man, a true man after God's own heart.