blessings

can you believe it? 2 posts, 2 days in a row! what's going on? well, i can assure you it won't happen often.

i just want to write about how i'm blessed. i was thinking after my last post that i'd like to write a positive blog. i'm tired of complaining (in my own mind... and written on my blog), and it makes me sad when other people write sad or downer blogs... so i will go against that. right now.

i am blessed. freaking blessed. here's why:

1. i have a great family- first, my parents: they have set an amazing example for me. they have dedicated their lives to God and serving him in every way. they are very practical and that helps me to think of ways i can serve God practically as well. i often walk into our family room and either or both of my parents are there reading the Bible. they are very faithful; to God, to each other, to their family, to others... and they put their faith into practice. they've taught me what a healthy marriage should look like. now my siblings: i wouldn't trade you for the world! over the last few years i have had some really great conversations with my brother eric. we've discussed so many things... things you wouldn't think you'd discuss with your brother. his outlook on life and how he talks so openly of his love for God inspires me. and he is so devoted to his wife and their life together. my sister bethany is my other half. we share everything... literally. we share each others' things, we share a sense of humour, we share everything that's going on in our lives, and we have our fair share of arguments (although, they've been fewer and farther between as the years go on). i love my sister. she's my best friend. and now for my new sister melodie! it's great having another sister. you fit in right away. it's great that we've known each other our whole lives as friends, and now it's even more special because we're sisters. your kind heart is a blessing to me, and also inspires me.

2. my friends- i love you guys. i'm not going to single anyone out. but there are many friends that i feel very close with, and there are many friends that i feel close to, but maybe not as close as others. you all know who you are and where you fit in! and whether i'm very close with you or kind of close with you, you are so crazy special to me! i have friends i went to school with, who helped me through all those years of "change". i only have a few friends from school whom i still keep in contact with, and you are precious to me. i have friends i met while in australia and you also saw me truly grow in my relationship with God. these friends also encouraged me to make that relationship with God my own. i love and miss you guys. i have friends i've made through theatre and film. many i don't see or talk with much anymore- but they helped me grow in a talent and passion of mine. and for those who i still see from that group, you are very special to me and i'm glad for all the fun times we've had and will have! i have friends that i've made since coming home from australia (1.5 years ago)- most of whom i knew beforehand, but kind of from a distance. you are very dear to me. there were times that i didn't want to get to know these friends because of the transition from bible school to "real life". but you all pursued me. thank you. you've seen my ups and downs since capernwray (although i try very hard to hide them... with some success?) and you've stuck by me. i appreciate you guys. many friends made over many years... wow... you guys are amazing.

3. my health- i'm blessed to have good health. i know i take advantage of this since i'm young. i do some stupid things to my body, but luckily it hasn't had much affect as of yet. i know i'll have to learn to take better care of my body for future years! but i appreciate my body's ability to bounce back. i haven't always appreciated the body i was given- as i've struggled for many years with self-image issues and anorexia. but as i grow in my relationship with God, i've really learned to love who he has made me. he made me just how he wanted to- quirks and all, curves and all, lack-of-height and all, flaws and all (that i'm working on daily, of course). and God does not make mistakes. and i've been learning to accept who HE says i am. i am his, i am loved, and i am fearfully and wondefully made. and so are YOU! so, yay for young bodies that can deal with the crap we put them through! now i've got to learn how to treat it right because it won't be young forever!

4. my situation- my parents have provided our family with a pretty sweet set-up. we've always had family holidays. we've always had nice new things. as siblings, we've always been able to ask for help and received more than needed from our parents. not that "stuff" is important in and of itself at all. but i'm just thankful that my parents thought ahead and were able to provide for us as a family- in the areas of love and money. honestly, i couldn't really care less if we didn't have the nice things we have, or if we had to put all our money and means together to go on a family holiday, or if i was completely on my own to save money for post-secondary school... but i am very thankful for what i have, and how my parents have provided.

5. God's grace and sacrifice- God, you above everyone inspire me the most. that you had, have, and will continue to have the grace to deal with not only me, but everyone on this earth is the biggest blessing of all. the sacrifice you made for our lives speaks of your unconditional, undying love for us. that you would give your life for me, a girl who continually goes against your good, pleasing, and perfect will... God, i can't begin to put into words how much that means to me. i know i don't do enough to demonstrate your awesome love to this sad world... but i'm learning and growing... and as you teach me and i get to know your heart, it just makes me want to learn and grow more! and it makes me want to show off my awesome God to everyone around me! your grace is sufficient, and your sacrifice was enough to save my life. i want people to see what you've done in me... in the heart of a stubborn girl who hates being vulnerable and transparent. i want the faith of a child to trust you with all my heart, believing that you have the best in mind for my life. i could say so much more to try to thank you for every single thing you've done in my life... but i know that this will actually go on forever if i do that (and it will go on forever in my heart, as i continue to thank you for what you've done and what you are doing and what you will do). oh God, you amaze me. thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. you are more than enough for me, Lord. you are my heart's desire.

i am blessed. told you so.