Debbie Downer

Today my name is Debbie Downer. Or Negative Nancy, if you so prefer. These last couple weeks have just been trying. But alas, I am alive and I love life. So even with down days, life is still good. Because, well because God is still good.

I just haven't been quite myself as of late. What with Janelle being gone and all. As cheesy as it is, part of my heart left with her. I miss her a lot.

Lately I've just been thinking about leaving for Australia. And today I let Nutri-Health Group know of my last day with them. It makes me sad. I love working here. I love being in Niverville. I love my friends, my family, my situation. But, I know that I need to leave. Just for a while. I need to focus on other things. I need to focus on God more. I need to focus on who I am, what God wants for me, where my passions can be applied... etc. It will be good. All will be well. I am just very very sad to leave my friends. For most of my life, I just haven't attached myself to anyone. I like staying somewhat distant. Of course, I can share my heart and dreams, but part of me likes to keep to myself. Actually, part of me LOVES to keep to myself. I've just realized lately how attached I am to my friends. It's never really been like this before. With Janelle leaving, I got this whole shock at how much I miss her- simply because we shared everything together for these past couple years. And I had never had a friend like that before. Even with my other friends, I've just grown to love them all so much. And I am sad with the fact that they can't come to Australia with me.

But, God has a purpose for me. Every day. Now. And I want to live that purpose. I want to enjoy the time I have here before I leave, and be excited for what God holds in my future. Because I want him to take care of it, not me. He's just so much better at taking care of things than I am! And I want to let him in. And let him take control. Because he loves me.